


"the story of us looks like a tragedy now"

by sparks_fly



Series: [ for you're the start and end of me | park & park ] [6]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Don't worry, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 18:10:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14431263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparks_fly/pseuds/sparks_fly
Summary: Sometimes, not everything ends with a smile.For not everything is a fairy tale.





	"the story of us looks like a tragedy now"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pjhjigglypuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pjhjigglypuff/gifts).



> hello this is for @Pjhjigglypuff because she's been really really nice to me.  
> However, she might hate me for this hahat
> 
> This is based on "The Last Five Years". A musical turned into a movie. As you can see, each sequence has a number which means that's the real sequence order but I like it hard so yeah

 

 

 

010 – THE END

 

 

“Tell me.” He pleads, desperate, wanting to understand where it went wrong.

 

He almost ---- closely ---- does want to tell.

 

But instead, “Tell you what?” His voice is flat and lost of hope.

 

Woojin walks forward, wants to hold him like he used to do.

 

He hesitantly takes a step back and builds a wall against him.

 

“Everything!” Desperation is becoming him. So unlike. “What’s in your head ---”

 

“You don't ---” He turns around in his heels, turns his back at him. “You don't understand!” He wheels to turn to him again.

 

His face crunches looking as if he has given up. “Wow” Disbelief yet at the same time he's not surprised. _It's Woojin, this is Woojin_ , Jihoon chants in his head. “Wow, here we are and you're just texting someone as if there's no problem.”

 

He immediately puts his phone in his pocket. But it's too late now. “Look---”

 

Jihoon shakes his head, dried tears on his face. “It's too late. Just go.... go home.”

 

 

 

 

 

001 – I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us, how we met and the sparks flew instantly

 

It's the beginning of University and Jihoon already feels like dying. He likes studying but not on this particular day. His day started as shitty, sleeping late last night because of a certain Lai Guanlin who broke his heart and getting up feeling shitty for crying and getting his toast burnt. What a day for him.

 

“Is this seat taken?” All of a sudden, in the middle of his misery, a voice asks.

 

Jihoon looks up, about to snap when he sees him there. He's standing there, hair styled in a perfect comma, dark blue jacket and faded black jeans on ---

 

_and goddamn his eyes ---_

 

His eyes are the most captivating he has seen. Jihoon cannot put a finger on what --- but his eyes are really captivating and he knows he's already hooked and sold.

 

“I'm taken by you.” He blurts absentmindedly.

 

A deadly silence.

 

Jihoon snaps back in reality. “I mean --- yeah --- the seat is free --- so --- you can --”

 

The guy chuckles and sits down. Even his chuckle sounds enchanting. And that _snaggletooth._

 

“Woojin.” He says, offering his hand. “Park Woojin.”

 

H nods, eyes on everything but him. “Park --- Park Jihoon.”

 

Deep down, Park Jihoon knows Park Woojin has his heart on his palm already.

 

(But Park Woojin does business --- fixed and timely --- while he draws canvasses --- unsure and untimely)

 

004 – I used to know my place was the spot next to you

 

 

Something is wrong and Jihoon knows that. There's a lot of tension hanging in the air right now. He sees Woojin blanking out while giving out his perfectly memorized script in front of his clients.

 

 _This can't be,_ he thinks worriedly. The clients that they are with are murmuring with their worried reactions. This is not The Park Woojin they know. Park Woojin is the perfect man. Smart, wise, handsome --- he's the man of the hour in their office. And he cannot buckle --- not when the speech is very important as he accepts to be the newest and youngest manager.

 

 

Jihoon mouths the next words as he perfectly remembers each word that he's trying to memorize each and every time they are together. Woojin sighs again and smiles nervously as he meets his eyes. He's dashing as ever in his white polo neatly folded in the right places. But it feels like he is still not used at how he takes his breath away.

 

Woojin shakes his head. “Most importantly... to the most important man in my life... Park Jihoon,” He breathes out the sigh that he's been trying to hold on for the longest time. “This will never happen if it weren't for you. You gave me inspiration to become a better man --- to think for a better future. ''

 

Never in his million life had he expected this. It's been two years since they started dating so ---

 

Woojin walks forward till he reaches his table. Everyone is in awe. He's in dazed. “I cannot think of anyone or anybody to share my future better with except for you. Park Jihoon, shall we spend all the tomorrows together?”

 

Tears in eyes are falling. He watches Woojin kneeling down in front of him and all these people that he's not familiar with. And Woojin is there --- one knee down and on his hand a box with a ring on it, asking for his future --- his future --- their future --- and he is not sure. It feels like they have been moving too fast like a fast forward.

 

“Wooj ---” He chokes his name.

 

He cannot meet his eyes --- doesn't want to. But he can feel his eyes quivering.

 

“Just that ----” _too fast, too fast, why can't we slow down?_

 

The guy nods. “I ---” He stands up.

 

 _Jihoon, really?_ “No no no!” He hurriedly says. “Ask me again.”

 

Park Woojin looks at him --- right through him. “Jihoon ---”

 

“I'm just surprised and it leaves me speechless. But _please.”_

 

He nods at him, kneeling down once more. “Park Jihoon, shall we spend all the tomorrows together?”

 

“Tomorrow --- tomorrow --- and next day and next next day, Woojin, yes.”

 

There's a loud clap as Woojin puts the ring on his finger. He buries his head on his chest and whispers, “You scared me there, babe.”

 

Jihoon looks up at him and Woojin looks back. He's staring into him, touching the deepest part of him heart. He thinks _it's okay_ as long as he is with the man who will stare at him with million stars in his eyes. _It's okay, it'll be okay, I think I can gamble so long as you're with me._

 

Everyone eventually congratulates them, some even hugging him. And he doesn't know any of them. Not one bit. But, he guesses if he's with Park Woojin, then everything is going to be okay.

 

_Or so he hopes._

 

 

 

 

008 – So many things that you wish I knew, but the story of us might be ending soon.

 

 

Five.

 

It's been five years since he started dating him.

 

Three.

 

It has been three years since they got married.

 

And Park Jihoon wants this to be special. He wants to make this work again.

 

So he cooks for him --- his favorite pasta and steak he's learned online --- and he wishes they're delicious. He has sent a text to his husband to go home earlier than he is supposed to be and he has replied with _Noted._

 

Jihoon thinks his reply is cold but somehow he deserves it, too. Cold --- they have been cold these past few months, and both are to blame. He's becoming busier and Jihoon's getting more antsy with his works. But tonight, he's not going to make a fuss out of anything. He's going to make it seem like the first time they met.

 

Like how he has fallen in love with the guy with galaxy full of gentle stars in his eyes.

 

He looks around their roof top.

 

There's a white screen where in he would show the movie he made with their pictures, mattress , blanket and pillows on the floor, white roses ---

 

 

_“Here.” Woojin offers him a bouquet of roses._

 

_He arches an eyebrow at him. “Why?”_

 

_“It's your favorite flower.”_

 

_Jihoon nods. “So ---- ?”_

 

_Woojin ruffles his hair playfully and puts his arms around hi, as if he's older than Jihoon. “Date me?”_

 

_Jihoon rolls his eyes at him. “That's so unoriginal.”_

 

 

 

\--- white roses on the floor, there's a pail of ice and wine and he has set up their food on trays already. He imagines how Woojin would walk in this romantic surprise he has set up for him and he giggles at his imaginary reaction. He imagines him hugging Jihoon until he takes his breath away and kisses all over his face.

 

And maybe, just maybe, they would be fine again after this.

 

 

008.5 – I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down

 

 

8pm has passed.

 

Another half hour has passed.

 

One more hour passes by.

 

Then the next.

 

One hour has passed by once more.

 

Jihoon sighs loudly as he lies on the mattress, eyes on the stars above on the sky.

 

_Do not cry, you fool._

 

He remembers how Woojin's eyes resemble of him the same stars he's looking at right now. His chest tightens. They should be happy celebrating their fifth anniversary but now he's watching everything go down the drain.

 

“Jihoonie!” There's a loud rush voice.

 

He looks at Woojin --- the same man he's used to love. He's tired and he knows he's also tired. He acknowledges him with a nod. His eyes wander around the place and his face turns into astonishment as he takes around the surrounding.

 

“I can ---” He starts saying as he moves towards him.

 

But Jihoon shushes him with a finger on his lips and stands up. He's tired. Tired of trying.

 

“I'm sorry, Jihoon...” He still tries.

 

“As I am.” He says and walks past him.

 

Jihoon looks back at him --- he meets his eyes --- hoping to see the same he has learned to love. He meets his eyes to remember the feeling of being the stars in his eyes --- he tries to remember the feeling of being in love with the same man.

 

But he can't see the same man anymore.

 

He's giving up no matter how much he wants to fight again.

 

 

 

 

006 – Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat

 

 _It's sensible, it's reasonable_ , Woojin wants to tell himself as Hyeongseob, his assistant, is unbuttoning his polo. _It's okay,_ he thinks as he leaves his lip stain in each part of his face. Jihoon is being difficult these days. He doesn't want to talk to him --- doesn't even dare to look at him --- and the silence is killing him.

 

One night, just one night, he reminds himself as he kisses his mouth.

 

 

_“Good morning.” He greets warmly as soon as Jihoon opens his mouth._

 

_His hair is a mess like a nest as he cuddles himself to him more._

 

_Woojin laughs. This man is driving him crazy. He's so in love with him. He wants to be the better man to be with him. He kisses his forehead and watches as he squirms. He smiles gently when he feels his lips on his neck and as soon as he is about to kiss his lips, he avoids it._

 

_He suddenly feels rejected._

 

_But then he smiles warmly at him. “Sorry, I just haven't brushed my teeth ---”_

 

_Then he remembers he has an obsession about brushing his teeth before kissing each other and laughs. “God, Jihoon.” He says, laughing as he lies on the bed completely. “You're going to be my death someday.”_

 

_“It's true though!” He complaints._

 

_Woojin shakes his head and swoops in to kiss his on lips and all he hears is nothing but a protest which turns into a hot make out session._

 

 

 

Something does not feel right. He can feel it as the night grows older. And he knows he's regretting, knows he shouldn't be doing this --- knows he shouldn't enjoy Hyeongseob's lips on his --- but when he gets home, he knows he's returning to silence and deadness and maybe he can enjoy this for now.

 

 

 

005 – I've never heard silence quite this loud

 

Another award for Park Woojin and he's giving his speech in front of these clients.

 

He's running late already as he picks up his heavy bag full of brushes and his painting paper. His hair is a mess and he still has some painting on his face. It's quite not okay to attend this awarding, knows that he should have dressed more appropriately. But his meeting ends late and he doesn't have time anymore.

 

He just wants to be with his husband. This is important for him. And if it's important for him, he should be there for him, no matter how much he needs to sacrifice.

 

The speech ends as soon as he enters and they are already clapping their hands for him. He watches as his husband's head keeps looking back and forth in the crowd and when Jihoon's meets his, there's disappointment in his eyes.

 

“Sorry.” He mouths at him.

 

But he's already walking away from him.

 

And it pains him to know he caused the disappointment in those eyes.

 

005.5 – Is it killing you like it's killing me?

 

In the midst of everything, Woojin is busy talking to other people whose names he can never remember. He's busy talking to people and he's busy watching him in a corner, feeling so left behind. His outfit --- everything about him.

 

“Hello.” H sees a man coming to his side.

 

Ahn Hyeongseob, Woojin's assistant. He's smiling at him in his neatly folded suits.

 

“Are you enjoying it so far?” Hyeongseob asks as he sees the other looking at Woojin as if he's a meal who in returns is watching both of them.

 

Woojin clicks a wine glass in their direction.

 

“Hmmm.” Jihoon answers.

 

Hyeongseob bites his lips in return and he faces Woojin who has forgotten his husband exists for a moment and doesn't even realize he has given Hyeongseob a wink.

 

A wink that does not go unnoticed by Jihoon.

 

He has never felt so out of place in his life.

 

 

005.95 – Lately I don't even know what page you're on

 

 

There's something wrong with his heart. For some time now, his heart is just aching and beating and he feels worse when Woojin drives quietly his car going home. He is not sure if he's feeling worse for being late or for seeing his own husband flirting with another man.

 

“I-- I'm sorry.” He mutters. “It's just that my meeting ended late.”

 

Woojin answers by a hum.

 

“Babe..” He calls.

 

“That's okay.” He answers with a straight face.

 

_Babe, you flirted in front of me. You winked at Hyeongseob and I wish they are nothing but my imagination._

 

Another pain.

 

Maybe he shouldn't even have come after all.

 

009 – See me nervously pulling at my clothes

 

“I forgot. I just forgot!” Woojin yells at him at the other side of the door.

 

Jihoon tries to fight back the tears. He sits on their bed and touches the smooth creases of their bed. It's been their bed for five years now and it feels like they haven't used this bed for that long time already.

 

There's a knock on the door.

 

He tries to block him out.

 

Today was the day that he has dreamed of. It was supposed to be his first gallery exhibit. He's excited and hyped and had expected Woojin to be there with him. He promised that he'd be there. This is important for him. The most important one since he graduated.

 

“Jihoon..” He calls once more. “Babe...”

 

He is desperate. He is, too. He wants to ask him why --- how ---- how are they falling apart when they have promised to be together? When they have promised to stick with each other?

 

“Why?” He moans out loud.

 

“I forgot ----” He explains.

 

Jihoon can taste the lie in his voice and this is not his husband. He stands up, gather his things in his bag when the door swings open. Woojin stops and he stops. For a moment, he looks at him and his face traces confusion and then it turns into realization.

 

“You're leaving?” He asks in bewilderment. “Jihoon, that was just an exhibit! There are a lot more exhibits that you're going to have and I promise you I would be there.”

 

He halts after hearing Woojin. “Just an exhibit?”

 

Woojin's face turns into a horror after realizing what he has said.

 

“That's my first exhibit after being unknown for a long time, Woojin. You know how much you being there would mean to me.”

 

“What? Are we going to forget how you almost missed one of my awarding?”

 

Jihoon covers his face in exhaustion. It's been a long day, indeed.

 

 

009.5 – But you held your pride like you should have held me

 

 

“That's --- I was late. And I was there. That matters, at least, right? Instead of ditching your own husband's exhibit?” He fights back.

 

_Just say sorry, Woojin. Say sorry then hug and kiss me like you used to do._

 

“I did a lot of things at work, Jihoon, why can't you understand that?” Woojin shouts.

 

There's a wall building between them and he can't help but wonder if they want to destroy the walls they are trying to build without each other. They are too high already and nobody wants to stop building. The walls feel like they are the armors --- each other's weapons when they are hurt.

 

“You did what?” He snaps back. “You did who, Woojin?”

 

Woojin freezes and Jihoon does too. He doesn't want to actually say it but it happened and Woojin looks like someone pours cold water on his body. Jihoon resigns and slumps on the floor and he hears Woojin closing the door.

 

“So this is how ending feels like then.” Jihoon murmurs in the silence.

 

 

 

009.95 – The battle's in your hands now

 

 

Woojin's tears fall down. He is not expecting for Jihoon to blow up all of a sudden. He's sorry and sorry and sorry and why can't he just say that to him? He wants to make amends with him, is excited to actually meet him for the exhibit but got distracted by Hyeongseob.

 

 _Hyeongseob_ , Woojin sighs. He drives back to his apartment.

 

It has to end.

 

But the moment Hyeongseob opens her door, Woojin is whipped.

 

He thinks Hyeongseob looks like a god ready to shower him with love and affection.

 

 

 

003 – People would say, "they're the lucky ones"

 

“The first place goes to...”

 

Woojin squeezes his hand. He knows this competition is very crucial for Jihoon. He's there when Jihoon did not get sleep to finish his artwork --- when he forgot to eat his meals --- when he's stressed over his painting which took one month to finish. He's there holding his hand, squeezing his back, giving his food to eat.

 

And Woojin knows he deserves it.

 

“It's you.” Woojin whispers.

 

He pouts at him and he thinks it's so cute. “I love you.” He says.

 

“.... Park Jihoon!” The announcer says.

 

Woojin yells loudly and spins them around and around and everyone is clapping and Woojin feels like they are in heaven. As long as he is with Jihoon, he's in heaven.

 

He needs to push Jihoon after the spin because he is not moving. Just like a push that he feels inside his heart when he sees Jihoon accepting his plaque and certificate. He looks at him and Woojin wonders if he's an angel --- his personal angel that God has sent for him.

 

They are the true definition of opposites attract.

 

Where Woojin is this rigid and organized type of person, Jihoon is the untimely and unorganized one. Where in he is the strict and stick to the rule guy, Jihoon is the easy-going and tolerant guy. They are different like black and white but they make it together.

 

“I love you, Park Jihoon!” Woojin yells loudly which earns laughter.

 

God, he would tell it every time if he can.

 

“You know,” Daehwi, Jihoon's best friend, pipes up beside him. “He's a lucky one.”

 

Woojin arches his brows beautifully at him. “How?”

 

“He has you.”

 

But he begs to disagree as he turns his attention back to Jihoon who is smiling at everyone. He is so beautiful on that stage ---so perfect ---- and he is his.

 

“I think I'm luckier. I got the best guy in town.”

 

Jihoon runs back to them. He hugs his best friend first before he opens his arms only to the guy who also opened his heart.

 

“You're worth it.” He mumbles as he rocks them back and forth.

 

 

 

003.5 – But I liked it better when you were on my side

 

Woojin types something in his laptop and it's kind of annoying for him to hear the keyboard at 3:30 in the morning. He peeks at his one eye open, only to see him disturbed by things Jihoon would never understand. It's not his field, and it would never be.

 

He massages his forehead. It's a long day for him, Jihoon knows, so he slowly gets up and goes to the kitchen to warm up some water for his favorite coffee. He likes it black and unsweetened and he likes his with milk and sweet so he prepares two coffee and when he comes back to their shared room, Woojin is still busy with his work.

 

He sets down two coffee and massages his back. He's tensed. This coming Friday is a big day for him that's why he's giving his best for this presentation. This is where his life lies.

 

“A cup of coffee for my very busy love.”

 

Woojin looks up and smiles at him. He kisses him fully.

 

“Why are you up?” He asks as he puts him on his lap.

 

“I know sleep sounds good.” He says, he buries his face on his neck. “But it feels empty without you. And I like it better when you're on my side, babe.” He whines, pouting.

 

Woojin laughs at him and embraces him tighter. He feels safe and happy just to be with him. This is the best place to be. Sleep can wait.

 

“Why are you cheesy?” He questions.

 

Jihoon hugs him back and says, “Only for you, Woojinnie. Just for you.”

 

There's nothing but silence as they hug each other.

 

“Babe,” He mewls. “I know you'd do great and I know you'd get to be the youngest manager of your company. I know you'll be. Trust me.”

 

“And you..” He breathes, looking at him. Jihoon melts as he looks back at him. His eyes are so captivating and he knows the moment he sees him, he's hooked. “.. you'll be the greatest painter in this whole wide world. And I'll buy all your paintings because I'm your fan.”

 

Jihoon snickers. “Yah! We're not going to get rich then!”

 

“Then just give the paintings to me for free.”

 

“Oh my god, you're so cheap, Woojin!”

 

 

007 – So many things that I wish you knew and so many walls up I can't break through

 

 

“I'm home.” He announces.

 

But the thought of being at home makes Woojin drain even more. He looks around and is only greeted by muteness. There's nothing new about this set up. He keeps coming back at an empty home. And if he sees Jihoon at home, that's the biggest surprise.

 

He enters his room --- their room --- and changes to casual clothing. He's just going to spend his day eating and watching TV. He grabs some snacks, opens the TV, and sits on the couch. He's getting more comfortable when he hears a sob. He gets alerted as he knows he's alone in the house. He looks around --- kitchen, room, bathroom --- almost everywhere except for the room that Jihoon spends time painting.

 

He is not prepared that when he opens the door, he sees Jihoon in the farthest corner of the room. He has himself cocooned, as if he's trying to protect himself from everyone. He's immobilized to see Jihoon breaking down.

 

There goes his heart breaking.

 

He slowly approaches him and fights so hard not to touch him. Because he wants to --- he wants to see the old bubbly Jihoon back, – he wants to touch him again the way he did in the years that they shared --- but he can't, not anymore. Not when he has built his walls up that not even he can enter.

 

He's about to touch him when he looks up. His face is stained with tears, his eyes are puffy and cheeks red. He feels a lump in his throat.

 

 _What happened between us, Jihoon?_ He badly wants to ask. _Make me understand._

 

He tries to wipe his tears away but Woojin is trying to hold him. He wants to hold him, wants to grab and kiss him. “Wait, wait. Please,what's wrong, Jihoon?”

 

Jihoon stands up and he looks like someone slapped him with his question.

 

Woojin tries to stop him as he holds his face in between his hands. It has been so long since he properly looks at him. And Woojin feels like something cracks inside of him to see the once beautiful and bubbly guy Jihoon gone replaced by a clone he calls his husband. Something cracks inside of him to see him withering with things he cannot comprehend.

 

“Please, tell me what's wrong. Who did this to you?” He begs.

 

But he does not answer.

 

“I want you to tell me, Jihoon! I don't want your silence! I deserve to know what's happening with my husband.”

 

Jihoon looks away this time.

 

“Please let me in, too, Jihoon!” This time he's shaking his shoulders. “Let me in in your world, Jihoon! I don't like the silence anymore. Tell me ----what the fuck is wrong? Did something happen at work? Are you having a block off? Tell me! Tell me. I want to know.”

 

He meets his gaze --- dead and tired. There's nothing but hollowness. Woojin feels like crying for he knows he's the reason why.

 

_“I promise to give you nothing but happiness in the world, Jihoon, you deserve it.”_

 

Jihoon pushes him off and before he turns to leave, he glances at something behind his back. Woojin feels alone for the first time. The fact that Jihoon looks at something behind him gives him a bad ominous feeling. He should have ran when he has had time --- shouldn't even look at the thing that Jihoon looked at.

 

But he does, though.

 

Looking straight back at him is a portrait of himself inside his office room, hands under his chin and his eyes very much alive as if it were really him. There's a crown on his head and Woojin feels touched for a moment. He walks towards the portrait and then something catches his eyes.

 

There are small words written on the left bottom of the portrait.

 

And on his white polo shirt, there's a stain of lipstick.

 

Woojin feels like his world is dying and crumbling under his feet.

 

_You're the King of Your World. And I'm not part of it._

 

The pain in his chest grows even more. He knows. _He knows._

 

 

 

002 – I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us

 

 

Kim Donghan, in his humblest opinion, had been the best part of his life.

 

“Why?” Woojin asks as they look up above the stars.

 

Both of them are at the back of his pick up car --- there are blankets around them as they lie to stargaze. It's a comfortable silence and they like it.

 

“I mean, he's been more than a lover to me, you know?” He answers, eyes still drawn on to the stars twinkling up above them. “He was a friend first and foremost.”

 

“What happened then?” Woojin presses on.

 

Jihoon sighs loudly and Woojin doesn't like that kind of sigh. Especially coming from him. “It did not work out.”

 

Woojin watches as he looks up above. He hates to see the sadness. He only wants to see Jihoon smiling and laughing. There's a loud beat inside his beating heart. He likes looking up at the sky to watch the stars and Woojin likes looking at him for he is his star.

 

“Did both of you try?”

 

He turns his body to him and with a sad smile, he says. “What's the point if he has already given up himself? He didn't want to try, no matter how much I wanted to.”

 

He pulls him inside his arms more and embraces as if there's no tomorrow. Because he is precious for him --- the most precious in fact --- he wants to hold him in his arms --- because he wants to be with him.

 

“I promise to give you nothing but happiness, Jihoon, you deserve it.”

 

“You know,” Jihoon says in a muffled voice. “they all say that but they never mean it.”

 

“But I do!” He insists. Because he does. He will.

 

“Then why do they keep hurting me?”

 

“Because they are not for you. I am.” He answers without hesitation.

 

“I'm not a damsel-in-distress for you to save, Woojin.”

 

“And I don't have a white horse to save you, Jihoon. I only have this pick up car to take you away from every pain --- from everything. I promise.”

 

This time, Jihoon stops and puts his sole attention to him. “Don't promise, do it.”

 

Woojin hugs him tighter. He's so in love with this man and he promises never to hurt and only to give him happiness in this world.

 

 

 

 

 

010 – When it all broke down and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

 

 

“Tell me.” He pleads, desperate, wanting to understand where it went wrong.

 

He almost ---- closely ---- does want to tell.

 

But instead, “Tell you what?” His voice is flat and lost of hope.

 

Woojin walks forward, wants to hold him like he used to do.

 

He hesitantly takes a step back and builds a wall against him.

 

“Everything!” Desperation is becoming him. So unlike. “What’s in your head ---”

 

“You don't ---” He turns around in his heels, turns his back at him. “You don't understand!” He wheels to turn to him again.

 

His face crunches looking as if he has given up. “Wow” Disbelief yet at the same time he's not surprised. _It's Woojin, this is Woojin_ , Jihoon chants in his head. “Wow, here we are and you're just texting someone as if there's no problem.”

 

He immediately puts his phone in his pocket. But it's too late now. “Look---”

 

Jihoon shakes his head, dried tears on his face. “It's too late. Just go.... go home.”

 

But Woojin insists and blocks his way when he is about to enter his work place. “I want you to tell me ---- what happened between us, Jihoon? Where went wrong? What did I do for you to act so --- far away from me?”

 

Jihoon looks at him in skepticism. “Seriously, Woojin?”

 

“Is it about the exhibit that I missed? Is it about no one wants to buy your art works? I'll buy them for you! Is it about that, Jihoon?”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Is it the jealousy inside your heart? Because you see me working up way high and --- you're still ----” Woojijn stops mid-sentence. He's thinking about the words he has thrown and the weight of them.

 

He watches in amusement as his face morphs into actualization.

 

“Yeah, I'm still stuck as an unknown and dreamless Park Jihoon, Woojin, while you are soaring up there.” He says, nodding at him.

 

“No, no, no.” He hurriedly says. He wants to take it back but he knows he cannot. He tries holding his hand but he tugs it back.

 

He takes in the ending of this story. He knows from the start he is not the usual damsel-in-distress prince and Woojin is not the Prince Charming but he has tried hoping, though. He tries hoping that maybe this time, Woojin is the right one for him.

 

 _This is the end,_ the air whispers at his ears.

 

“Well, I guess, it's me, you know, Woojin? The answer to why do people keep hurting me? Remember? Maybe because I don't know how to love others without feeling insecure that one day, one day, you'd find someone better than me, an unknown and worthless Jihoon. But you're there, Woojin. With wings and ready to fly. You're the King of your own world, and you built this whole world around you with those office mates --- clients --- people who can make you feel the best. You built it and excluded me from your world.”

 

“It's not my fault that you didn't want to be part of it. You kept pushing me away, Jihoon. I tried so hard to knock down your walls --- but you never let me in, too.” He replies, with tears now. “Why won't you let me in, Jihoon?”

 

Jihoon turns away from him.

 

“No, no, no turning away, Jihoon. I want you to tell me.” Woojin demands.

 

“There's no more reason, Woojin, why I don't want to let you in, right?” He challenges because Jihoon knows and he knows he knows --- has an idea what he means by this.

 

“No --- no more.” He chokes.

 

There's a dismissive nod from Jihoon this time. “Until the end, Woojin, why are you still being the King of The World? Why won't you come down and meet me halfway?”

 

“This is impossible! You are impossible, Jihoon!” He frustratedly yells.

 

Woojin sighs exasperatedly and his eyes follow as he goes away from him.

 

 _This is the end_ , Woojin is walking away now. He's going to Hyeonsgeob, he's sure of it. He has seen them together and maybe --- he hopes that at least, he can make him happy. He deserves it --- deserves to be away from this toxic relationship. And no matter how much he's still in love with him, he cannot trap him from a relationship that cannot be mended anymore.

 

Both of them are tired and this is the best thing they can give each other.

 

 

 

000 – Next chapter.

 

Jihoon looks around the house with his bags in his hands.

 

It still feels like a home for him.

 

He turns to their shared bed, where they first made love --- to the coffee table in their bedroom where Woojin would usually spend his dawn for presentations he needs to finish because of deadline --- to the spare room where he would usually spend time painting and their personal playground where they would usually run around like kids if they have time --- to the kitchen where he would whine for some food while he does the cooking --- to the living room who witnessed their problems.

 

He goes nearer the table in the living room and leaves his keys, a letter and his ring. But never his heart. He needs his heart and he's going to take it with him no matter where he goes.

 

To the next chapter of their lives.

 

 

 

000 – And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

 

 

 

“I'm here.” Woojin declares.

 

He feels the eerie silence in the house. Nothing new, he is used to it. But he is sure that Jihoon is there --- or he was always sure no matter how silent things are for him.

 

But today, as he goes inside, something catches his attention on the table. And he chokes up because he wants to make it up with him tonight. He wants to tell him he's sorry and that he has cheated on him but he is still desperately in love with him and they're going to make everything right again.

 

He's ready to bare his heart out tonight.

 

 

 

_We were a second too late, my love._

 

_I wish you of happiness._

 

_You're free._

 

 

He's not expecting this letter --- this ring --- this desperation to have Jihoon back with him, to see him on the couch lazily watching his favorite drama, to kiss him senseless, to have his breath taken away.

 

 

Woojin walks in in his painting room and opens the light.

 

In the middle of the room, there's a painting of two boys at the back of pick up car looking at the sky and stars. He knows it's them --- when they talked about his ex-boyfriend.

 

He walks nearer and sees in gold bold letters of the words:

 

_**Oh silly boy, no matter how big of a galaxy he is in your eyes,** _

_**you'll never be more than a single star inside of his.** _

 

 

_But, you have always been my star, Jihoon. A star who refused to shine for me._

 

_Why don't you want to shine for me?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone have a twitter? Drop me your @ and I'll follow you!!  
> anyway, my wannaone twitter account is @whoojined please scream at me there!
> 
> There's actually a sequel! Will post it on Friday! ^^


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